Many people have asked me how I, as a straight man who has spent many years in various war zones, feel about this subject. And I have found out quite a few things about the American people in the process of trying to come up with my stance on this issue. One of the biggest issues I have found is that many Americans do not understand the current rules pertaining to gays in the military. Here is a plain Jane explanation of the current rules in the military:
- Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell – First and foremost you cannot be openly gay in the military. They can discharge you for this. Didn’t anyone watch M*A*S*H? This being said no one can force you to come out while serving. Someone cannot ask you if you are gay and no one is obligated to tell anyone whether you are gay. Do not ask me and I will not tell you. Ignorance is bliss…
Now you may ask, “Tiny, did you know any gay folks that were in the military?” Of course I did. There are many gay men and women in the military. But, no one openly talks about it because it is against the rules and they could suffer a discharge from service. The fact that they are gay does in no way affect their service to our country or their stance towards keeping our citizens safe from terrorists both foreign and domestic.
Now, do I think it is right that people cannot be themselves? I don’t really care one way or the other. You may say that is a cop-out but I will ask you this; how many of you out there are actually your true self in the workplace? If a majority of you out there are saying, “Of course, I am always my true self in all situations” than you are a liar. Hell, Tiger Woods has billions of American Dollars and he cannot even be himself so what makes the average American think they can pull it off. Here is a quick way to find out if you are always yourself…all the time:
- Do you have Facebook?
- Do you untag yourself from some photos out of fear certain people (boss, coworker, etc.) may see them? And/Or
- Do you have special security groups setup to block some of your “friends” from seeing pieces of your content? And/Or
- Do you put some people in “friend limbo” because you don’t want to take the time to untag all of those pics or you do not know how to configure the aforementioned secuirty groups?
See…not as true to yourself at all times as you thought. This all being said, I think it is a good thing they are changing the rules in the military. Let kids be openly gay if they choose to do so. I still don’t think you should be forced to disclose this information if you want to keep your private life private but if you want to let it all hang out then it should be your right to do so.
Now, as my good friend Doc would say, “Herein lies the rub” for me…
If all of these gay men and women in the military all of the sudden come out and then the Government decides that due to this we need to start building special facilities for these people, well, I am no longer a happy camper. And when I say “build special facilities” I am not just talking dorms, shower trailers, etc. I am talking about special job fields, extra training, new support roles, etc. These things cost tax payers money…lots of money! And I do not think that just because you decided to tell all of your friends in the barracks that you are gay you should get your own “special” housing, for example.
If you want to come out be prepared for nothing, as far as facilities and services available to you, to change. If you are going to come out just because you think you should receive special privileges (live off post, no roommate, exemption from field duty, etc.) than you are doing a disservice to the American taxpayer, AKA the person that pays you and you swore to protect. I am not worried about the repercussions from a person’s “coming out” that they may receive from their peers. These are things we cannot control and will take a long time to change. People in the military are adults when they volunteer to go in. If they make the adult decision to come out then, as adults, you would think they had weighed the consequences they may have to suffer. Hopefully that would never happen but, as we all know, it does.
These are just my thoughts. I hope you all enjoy reading them and that I do not get flamed too hard. Hell…what do I care…it is the Internet. Luckily, we are all still allowed to voice our opinions openly out here.
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Spoken like a true homo
Ha! I am not gay there Prince…trust. And if I recall correctly you are the only man that has ever attempted to kiss me. That makes you the homo…homo. Well, Clint probably tried but we all know about that kid.
Bravo Danny boy Bravo
I agree with this pretty thoroughly. However, wrt "being one's true self in the workplace," if I were fired due to my religious/political beliefs, sexual orientation, etc., I could sue that ass. So if I neglect to make these things known to my boss or coworkers, it's not out of fear of being terminated. To my knowledge, the military is the only organization protected from litigation for firing homosexual employees.
You would have to be able to prove that being homosexual is the reason they fired you first and foremost. If you fall into the group of "at-will" employees like I and most of my homeys do this is easier said than done. Because of the "at-will" status they can just say they fired you because they thought you were taking to long at lunch or that you were late for work one day and legally, that is all they have to do. It sucks but such is life within the corporateness.
Sure, sure. But all that said, the corporation has to go through that rigamarole to fire you in order to avoid getting sued. The military can say "LOL, bbye gheyz" and be done with it. Homosexuals outside the military at least have ostensible legal protection, which is about the best we can do in this economy.
I concur but all that being said, it can be done without any legal backlash that would amount to much and firing people is easy. Unless, of course, a company decides to fire its entire homosexual workforce…that is a different story. And let us not even talk about firing. Maybe you will get passed over for promotion and raises or some other type of corporate discrimination due to your lifestyle. This situation is more likely, happens more often and is harder to build a case against.As I stated, there will always be some sort of reaction from a persons "coming out" due to people's mindset toward the gay community and this is something that is just going to take time.
Agreed. The only way to make any meaningful changes to the way homos are treated is to change the minds of individuals. Which takes a long time. I think ensuring that the laws themselves are not actively discriminatory is a very important step, though.
Agreed
Since the can of worms is open what happens when the homosexual service member wants to enroll there same sex spouse for medical and dental care? Will it depend on the state or country they are currently in?
Good point Beasley…Adjustments will definitely have to be made to Tri-Care. I know that some insurance providers allow for a "domestic partner" to be added to your plan after a certain period of cohabitation. I would have to think a policy such as that would have to apply to service members also.This change opens a lot of "what ifs" in the realm of military support services both at home and abroad.
OOOOOOOOOOO yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to be at the FRG meeting when the gay lover comes in. Just to be a fly on the wall